Thursday, April 03, 2014

Grace....

"My life is a witness to vulgar grace- a grace that amazes as it offends. 
A grace that pays the eager beaver who works all day long the same wages as the grinning drunk who shows up at ten til five. 
A grace that hikes up the robe and runs breakneck towards the prodigal reeking of sin and wraps him up and decides to throw a party no ifs, ands or buts. 
A grace that raises bloodshot eyes to a dying thief’s request- “Please, remember me”- and assures him, “You bet!”
 A grace that is the pleasure of the Father, fleshed out in the carpenter Messiah, Jesus Christ, who left His Father’s side not for heaven’s sake but for our sakes, yours and mine. 
This vulgar grace is indiscriminate compassion.
 It works without asking anything of us. 
It’s not cheap. 
It’s free, and as such will always be a banana peel for the orthodox foot and a fairy tale for the grown up sensibility. 
Grace is sufficient even though we huff and puff with all our might to try to find something or someone it cannot cover. 
Grace is enough. 
He is enough. 
Jesus is enough." 
 Brennan Manning

Sunday, March 16, 2014

What We Wear....

Have a blessed Sunday!

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
 Colossians 3:12 

Monday, March 10, 2014

Awkward...

"But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have."
1 Peter 3:15

  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Awkward. :) 

Remember that expression? It was so cool back in the days when my older girls were growing up. I would hear it and think how silly it sounded. 

Well, now it's not so silly to me. 

For months I've pondered which direction I wanted this blog to go. Did I want to continue writing? Do I keep talking about adoption? How do I transition it? Do I talk about homemaking? How about natural healing and living? Trauma? 

I was truly stumped. I hit a block and I couldn't seem to find a way around it. So I didn't write. Not anything. 

For months. 

But you see, that's sort of like cutting my right arm off. ;) God created me with a need to put words on paper. It's the best way I am able to sort through the millions of thoughts that go through my head and heart daily. 

Yesterday before any of the kids woke up, I was siting praying. Talking to God about learning to depend more fully on Him. About letting go of worry and being very deliberate to revel in the now. To not lose track of these 7 amazing kids and to focus on loving them right where they're at. 

My phone was tucked neatly beside me and so without a second thought, I picked it up and typed yesterday's post. My prayer on paper. 

And that's where the confusion began. :) 

Awkward...

I should have realized that when you are raising kids with trauma backgrounds, that if you put the word "fear" in a post, it might just cause a wee bit of confusion and panic by your readers. ;)

Whoops!

I want to clear that up. 

My kids? They are doing well. They are amazing. All of them struggle daily, but loving their hearts is the best job in the world. These kiddos fight their own fears each and every single day. They struggle to manage thoughts that threaten to overwhelm them. They desperately want to be part of this family, and they are still fiercely loyal to their first families. We work through anger. Through sorrow. We rejoice in healing. We learn acceptance. We laugh. :)

And, I still have 3 older girls. The ones who still need their mama, but who are creating these very cool lives with people they love and who support them. I look at them and I think wow. They are not perfect, but they are pretty darn amazing young ladies. I love being their mom. :)

So we blend this family. We teach. We model. We fall down. We get back up and try again. We work at being a family. Unique individuals that are each created in His perfect plan. 

And I pray. 

I pray that I can learn to live in the now. In this very moment. Realizing that the legacy I want to leave is of grace. Of forgiveness. Of compassion. 

So, my prayer? 

It still stands. It's still the person I want to be. 

Dear God,
Help me today to not focus on the "what. If's". Help me to be present in the here and now. Make my words kind and my heart tender. Give me the wisdom to model love. Keep me from a place of fear. 
Amen.

 


Sunday, March 09, 2014

Fear...


Dear God,
Help me today to not focus on the "what. If's". Help me to be present in the here and now. Make my words kind and my heart tender. Give me the wisdom to model love. Keep me from a place of fear. 
Amen.

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Merry Christmas!

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. 
Isaiah 9:6 


Merry Christmas to your family, from ours!


Sunday, December 15, 2013

...

Adding Bloglovin to my feed readers for any who want to follow that way. :)

 Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Joy In The Morning....

So...how ARE things at this house?? :)

Since posting all those back-posts from the other "secret" blogs I kept, I see that maybe it looks like things are depressing and hard. ;)

The truth is, most days here are good. And not just good, but very good. :).

One of our kids is in weekly therapy which helps him learn to recognize his feelings and to learn what it means to live in a family. Believe it or not, kids who come from hard places may not have any idea what they feel at any given time. Instead they are used to feeling only "anger" and reacting. It is a long (and rewarding!) process to teach them to slow down and recognize feelings. He is healing and he is finally finding joy.

We have kids here that spew out trauma and are triggered by who knows what. Things can quite ugly here in a matter of seconds, but all the kids are building appropriate ways of coping. They are learning to trust us to resolve things and are starting to understand that grace and kindness go a long way towards healing what has been broken.

We are open about the kids' first families and they often talk about memories or about things regarding their first families. We're good with that, and encourage them to talk. They have a variety of feelings about their first families and we accept that. Feelings are not stagnate things and our kids' feelings are ever evolving. Its good for them to know that their families are our family, and that no subject about their lives before us is taboo.

The other night we were in the family room watching a kid's movie. Tabitha was sprawled in the rocking chair, Julia was one the couch cuddled on top of  me, and Jac was laying on the floor giggling. After a bit Emilee came and sat on the landing to watch too. I was overcome as I looked across my kids. One year ago this would have not been possible. One year ago we were doing our best to survive and keep all our kids safe. It was a terribly difficult time. Words can't express the constant turmoil that we were all living in.

And yet...

Here they are.

Happy, and enjoying being with each other doing something so "normal". My goodness. My heart just caught in my throat. I love this little family so very very much. Nine very strong personalities. Nine people God brought together in His infinite wisdom. 

You see, God knew.

In our pain we lashed out at Him and we were often driven to our knees screaming, "Why God? Why?!?!"

God knew.


   His promises are true. "Weeping may remain for a night but joy   comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5

Family.

Such a precious word.

Thanking God for the road we're on.
Isaiah 58:7, “Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wander shelter, when you see the naked to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?”