...

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.
--Washington Irving

Wishes.....

Saw this poem on a friend's blog and thought it a good way to begin the new year....

"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright

no matter how gray the day may appear.

I wish you enough rain

to appreciate the sun even more.

I wish you enough happiness

to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain

so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss

to appreciate all you posses.

I wish you enough hellos

to get you through the good-byes."
--Anonymous

...

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12 NIV

Happy New Year!

....

Take a minute and stop by this blog to say a prayer for this sweet young family.

Get Well Patrick Kelly

I do not know them and will never meet them this side of heaven, but it would be wonderful for them to know that millions around the world are holding them up in prayer as they say a painful good-bye this Holiday. I cannot imagine the raw grief of making these sort of decisions anytime, let alone at Christmas. Leave them a note. Let them know you said a small prayer this Christmas.

Pass it on....

Hallelujah....Light Has Come...

My very favorite Christmas song this year....

Thank-you for all your thoughts on my last posts.
I am taking some time to think and pray on things.

You have been a blessing to me.

Merry Christmas to you and your family!

Private

I will be changing this blog over to private.

***UPDATED***

Have you ever heard the saying, "You never know what goes on behind closed doors"? Well that's the case here.

Earlier tonight I published a post stating the blog would be going private. In it I was harsh. Really harsh.

For those of you have prayed diligently (Whitney I'm talking to you) thank-you from the bottom of my heart. I mean that. It brings me to my knees.

The reality behind the "closed doors" is this.

A month or so ago I went to moderating comments. I had started receiving vicious comments. I also pretty much stopped posting anything about our adoption. You can look back and see. I can't take that. Some all of you might be stronger, but my heart is pretty fragile after this long of a fight.

Today I posted again. An update.

And the comments came in again. People who think they know what they're talking about. People who spew things they've read elsewhere. People who think that apparently I've lived under a rock for the past 6 1/2 years. People who say things that cut me to my core.

I'm not that strong.

I'm just not.

So tonight I was harsh. I never meant it to hurt those of you who've prayed. I really didn't and I'm sorry.

I want to lash out at those who are spewing this crap. I want them to look into my kids' eyes and tell them they don't deserve a family. I want them to see the reality of this situation, but it's truthfully none of their freaking business.

I want to put up walls and block this all out. Tonight I was a breath away from shutting down my blog forever.

But then there you are.

Those of you who've prayed. Who've cared. Who've supported us.

And YOU deserve to have the updates. To know what is really happening.

So from the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry. Once again I sit here crying.

I'm sorry.

...

"We live by faith, not by sight."

2 Corinthians 5:7

Guatemala
December 12, 2011
Notice: Processing Plan for CNA cases

We have no idea where this will lead. As our pastor said so well, "I join you in praising God for these new signs of hope...even as I join you in holding out confidence only in God himself (and not in this process)."

And so, we wait.

Skeptical.

Doubtful.

Anxious.

Frightened.

Hopeful.

We covet your prayers.