Alone...

Nothing new.

Still waiting on a paper that needs to make it's way through the courts where the kids were born. The same paper we've been waiting on since July. I'm discouraged, frustrated, and sad.

I am coming up on a year since our Christmas trip to visit the kids. All kinds of emotions are being dragged up with that memory.

This weekend I received word that Victor, a precious 13 year old I had fallen in love with while we were in Guatemala, had passed away. He had kidney disease and was receiving some treatment. His 12 year old sister Joselyn had been his caretaker for many, many years. She is now alone in Guatemala and her brother died alone. The absolute wrongness of this is ripping me apart. It is not ok for children to be alone, to die alone. It is not ok for us to pass it off as a "statistic".

Ashtyn and I were with Victor and Joselyn all day at the amusement park last year. After watching us quietly for part of the day, Victor silently slipped his hand in mine. We walked like that, a little boy in terrible pain and a mom who's heart was being destroyed by the tragedy of it all. I loved these two children.

Instantly.

Deeply.

I have no doubt that Victor is with his Savior. His life is now free of pain and suffering and he finally knows what love truly is.

But it kills me that so many are alone right now on this earth.

I want my babies.

Please God.

It is all wrong.