My Five....Worth It All....

These amazing five are what keep me going.
What keep me smiling. :)

And what keep me fighting.





















We heard from Guatemala today that there is no word from the CNA on our case. It has been 3 months now. We also continue to wait on a court paper so that our attorney can submit us for Embassy Pre-approval. We've been waiting on this paper for months already.

I'm frustrated.

Sad.

And very, very thankful for my blessings. For Ashtyn, for Savanah, for Tabitha, for Emilee, and for Jacques.

The words of this song speak volumes to my heart today. God bless the person who led me to it. "Frantic believing"...I would say that pretty much sums up my thoughts right now.

"Worth It All" by Rita Springer....




Please God bring my babies home to this house.

Please.

For the Two...

I am struggling.

Again.

Not with God. I fully trust Him. But with the powers that be in Guatemala.

Struggling to understand why the step that should have gone quickly is going so slowly.

And most of all, struggling what to write back to my son. My son who is begging to come home.

Who doesn't understand the lies.

Truthfully, most days I'm doing ok.

It's the nights where I struggle.

Three days ago we received a package from our kids. You would think I would have torn into it. Wanting any word from them. The truth is, I kept it in the van. Out of my mind. Not wanting to see those words. Knowing that it would once again wreck my heart.

Tonight I finally opened it.

And the tears came.

I don't understand. I can't comprehend.

The pain in their words is too raw.

And I can't make it better.

I know I will find a way to push this to the back of my heart. I've done so for 5 years now. I can do it again. I WILL go forward for the sake of the 5 blessings I have here.

But for tonight, my heart is breaking.

For the 2 left behind.

Faith, not feelings....

A dear friend sent this to me and it helped me to see faith in a whole new light. I am posting it here in the hopes that it will touch your life as well. :)

Faith, not feelings, pleases God
by Rick Warren


Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised. Job 1:20-21 (NIV)
"God is always present, even when you are unaware of him, and his presence is too profound to be measured by mere emotion."

When you are a baby Christian, God gives you a lot of confirming emotions and often answers the most immature, self-centered prayers—so you'll know he exists. But as you grow in faith, he will wean you of these dependencies.

God's omnipresence and the manifestation of his presence are two different things. One is a fact; the other is often a feeling. God is always present, even when you are unaware of him, and his presence is too profound to be measured by mere emotion.

Yes, he wants you to sense his presence, but he's more concerned that you trust him than that you feel him. Faith, not feelings, pleases God.

The situations that will stretch your faith most will be those times when life falls apart and God is nowhere to be found. This happened to Job. On a single day he lost everything—his family, his business, his health, and everything he owned. Most discouraging—for thirty-seven chapters, God said nothing!

How do you praise God when you don't understand what's happening in your life and God is silent? How do you stay connected in a crisis without communication? How do you keep your eyes on Jesus when they're full of tears? You do what Job did: "Then he fell to the ground in worship and said: 'Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.'" (Job 1:20-21, NIV)

Tell God exactly how you feel. Pour out your heart to God. Unload every emotion that you're feeling. Job did this when he said, "I can't be quiet! I'm angry and bitter. I have to speak!" (Job 7:11, TEV)

He cried out when God seemed distant: "Oh, for the days when I was in my prime, when God's intimate friendship blessed my house." (Job 29:4, NIV)

God can handle your doubt, anger, fear, grief, confusion, and questions.

The Little Things...

It's the little things that keep me going. :)

This is what we received yesterday from a very special friend who delivered some pictures to the kids and visited them again...

"Ronaldo and Julia are doing very well, they were very, very happy when I gave them the photos you sent…. I assured them that they will be home soon with you and they were all smiles and very happy. Ronaldo’s attitude this time was so much different than when I saw him last November…. He was so much positive this time, so happy…. Your recent visit was good for them. Take care dear and I will be sending you more photos later on…. GOD BLESS!!!"

(Be still my heart..this one made me cry)

(Love that smile...love it!)

Man I love these kids...

Still here! :)

Thought I should probably update again here since it's been so long. I'll try to do an update post at least once a week. I know you all have been praying and so I feel like at the very least I should keep you updated! :)

We have no news yet.

The rest of the process goes like this:

CNA accepts case-DONE 7/08

Empathy Study-DONE 4/10

CNA approves case-

Embassy Pre-approval-

Enter Family Court-

Exit Family Court-

New Birth Certificates-

Passports-

VISA appointment-

HOME FOREVER-

We continue to wait for the CNA to approve our case. We are just over 10 weeks waiting now. We do know that they haven't forgotten and are working on things. It is quite an involved process within the CNA itself before they can approve our case, so we wait.

Spiritually I am doing very well. I hope to write a post on that soon. It's funny because I have all these posts in my head, then I come here only to realize I've never written any of them! :) My goal is to actually put what's in my head on here too. We'll see how that goes! LOL!

Please keep praying. Pray especially that Ronaldo and Julia's hearts stay tender and open. They are at such a critical age. God has protected them this far, and our continuing prayer is that He will hold them close as they wait. It's very hard for them and we know they are struggling. That's been the hardest for me as a mom. Knowing my babies are hurting, and able to do nothing about it.

Thank-you again for not giving up on us and for sticking these 5+ years out with us! Your prayers and your kindness keep us going!