Surrender....

Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.
You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God,
you will receive what he has promised.
Hebrews 10:35-36

My faith is in such a strange and different place. I have a hard time explaining it to anyone because truthfully I don't understand it so much myself.

A place of absolute trust.

For years I have begged and pleaded with God to bring my kids home. Crying out, ranting, shedding tears, and then finally slipping close to the very edge of a chasm of unbelief. Looking into the valley of no longer trusting this God, and tempted to jump.

And then.

Him walking me back. Guiding me away from the edge of a cliff to the place I am in now.

I no longer beg God to bring them home. Ever. He knows my heart.

He knows the desire of my heart.

I don't need to beg Him. I don't need to cry and rant.

Because He knows. Deeply. Intimately.

After my walk on the path of unbelief, my heart was defeated. Sad. Surrendered. I began to see my God differently

Surrender.

And here's where it becomes so complicated to explain where my faith lives now. My view of this walk has changed from it being my walk, to it being me walking alongside the most powerful Force in the universe.
It is no longer my plan, but His plan that I have been invited to share in.
I am not the main participant, I am only a participant.

It makes me deeply sad. And overwhelmingly joyful.

HE has asked me to come alongside Him as He works. The God of the universe. That to me is mind blowing.

I still cry. Often. Silent tears. There is a deep, deep sadness in my heart. But overshadowing that sadness lies the most absolute joy and the deepest peace I have ever felt.

I trust this God.

I trust God.

It's His plan. The day we said, "yes" God invited us to watch Him work this plan. Only He knows the ending, but He has promised that His plans are "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer. 29:11.

Not to harm.

My life, the lives of my Guatemalan kiddos, are in His capable, loving, tender, amazing hands.

It's His plan and He will bring it to completion. He will use us and in the end, it is HIM who will receive the glory. It is His plan. A quilt of beauty He is weaving together even now.

Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.
You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God,
you will receive what he has promised.
Hebrews 10:35-36

Showers....

Yesterday was one of those days.

One of those days when it seemed to tickle God to shower us with little jewels of blessings.

In the morning, I talked with a good friend about faith. Specifically where my faith is right now and how different it is than anytime it ever has been. She is a faithful prayer warrior in this fight. A blessing to this heart.

Showers of blessings....

In the afternoon, we needed to head to do a little shopping. It's hard keeping 5 kids clothed and in clothes that fit. :) We were running late. A God blessing we didn't see as a blessing at the time.

Because we were late, one of the children didn't have time to use the restroom. We knew there was not a restroom where we were going, so instead we stopped in a town close to our destination.

My oldest girls went in. And met someone very unexpected. Someone who blessed my oldest daughter more than this person even knows. She gave my oldest some answers that have been plaguing her since things drastically changed in her life. Many tears were shed. Tears that heal a broken soul. God smiling from heaven. Thank-you K. Thank-you.

Showers of blessings....

We made it to our destination and we shopped. I had 4 of my 5 kiddos with me. All 4 needed clothing. I got to the check-out. And I was blessed beyond belief. I will not say more, but I will say that I burst into tears right there in front of the entire store. Whoever you are, God used you in a mighty way. Through you, I saw Him laugh with delight. And still today the tears are there. Tears that heal a weary soul.

Showers of blessings....

Lots of tears were shed on the way home last evening. As we talked, we laughed, and we stood in amazement. And then a call to some people I love dearly. A call to have them remind my husband of an errand. A call that instead brought me to tears. Again. My goodness. A blessing that was so unexpected. Laughter from the Throne of heaven.

Showers of blessings....

It was one of those days. :)

"How priceless is your unfailing love!
Both high and low among men
find refuge in the shadow of your wings.

They feast on the abundance of your house;
you give them drink from your river of delights.

For with you is the fountain of life;
in your light we see light."

Psalm 36:7-9

Adoption Experiences

Mike Thomas at "Adoption Experiences" requested permission to include my blog on his site. From Mr. Thomas' site, "Adoption Experiences is a place where we can all share our stories about adoption. We collect Adoption information, articles, and blog entries from around the Internet and put them in an easy-to-find place."

You can find Adoption Experiences here:




You can find my blog listed HERE.

Take a minute to check out this amazing site!

While We Wait....

Reposted from Amy's blog with permission, because it NEEDS to be said. Over, over, and over...

"While We Wait....
While we wait for the perfect timing...

they hope they can wait another day.

While we wait for more money...

they wait with nothing.

While we wait for a bigger home with enough room...

they wait for room in our hearts.

While we wait for others approval...

they wait with any dignity they can find.



While we wait for the ideal child....

they wait knowing they are not.

While we wait trying to decide if we can manage another...

they wait trying to manage on their own.



While we wait to see how much we have to give to them...

They are waiting to give us even more.

While we wait for God to provide...

He waits for us to take the first step so He can.

We must NEVER use 'waiting to hear from Him' as an excuse for not doing what He has ALREADY commanded in the bible for us to do... proclaim the truth, care for orphans, serve others, be His hands of justice for the poor, and show compassion.

So, what are you waiting for??"

*God bless you Amy. And thank-you for letting me put your words here!