I will be changing this blog over to private.
***UPDATED***
Have you ever heard the saying, "You never know what goes on behind closed doors"? Well that's the case here.
Earlier tonight I published a post stating the blog would be going private. In it I was harsh. Really harsh.
For those of you have prayed diligently (Whitney I'm talking to you) thank-you from the bottom of my heart. I mean that. It brings me to my knees.
The reality behind the "closed doors" is this.
A month or so ago I went to moderating comments. I had started receiving vicious comments. I also pretty much stopped posting anything about our adoption. You can look back and see. I can't take that. Some all of you might be stronger, but my heart is pretty fragile after this long of a fight.
Today I posted again. An update.
And the comments came in again. People who think they know what they're talking about. People who spew things they've read elsewhere. People who think that apparently I've lived under a rock for the past 6 1/2 years. People who say things that cut me to my core.
I'm not that strong.
I'm just not.
So tonight I was harsh. I never meant it to hurt those of you who've prayed. I really didn't and I'm sorry.
I want to lash out at those who are spewing this crap. I want them to look into my kids' eyes and tell them they don't deserve a family. I want them to see the reality of this situation, but it's truthfully none of their freaking business.
I want to put up walls and block this all out. Tonight I was a breath away from shutting down my blog forever.
But then there you are.
Those of you who've prayed. Who've cared. Who've supported us.
And YOU deserve to have the updates. To know what is really happening.
So from the bottom of my heart, I'm sorry. Once again I sit here crying.
I'm sorry.
18 Thoughts From My Readers:
Been there. sooo been there. There are a lot of angry, ignorant, selfish, know-it-all people that hide behind the anonymity of the internet. It really sickens me, and I am SO sorry you have to deal with this. You know, you can disallow anonymous comments. You can also use a program like stat counter that allows you to record the IP address and viewing /commenting history of all your visitors. I opted for that a few years back after dealing with a terrible and mean commenter. I paid to get her address and phone and actually called her. Boy was SHE shocked. everyone thinks they can hide, but they can't.
if you still want to keep your blog open for all of us readers who love and support you, try doing those things I mentioned. I tried to go private last week, and then got over 400 requests to access the private blog. oops! So, I opted for tracing the origins of yet another not-nice reader.
Know that people who resort to those types of comments are very very unhappy, insecure people who wake up every morning not liking what they see in the mirror. Ignore them, and don't allow them the privilege of posting on your blog. THey don't deserve you.
So sorry that you've had to deal with such ignorant people! I guess Satan is just using these people to work extra hard against you becaue a glimmer of hope is there! We will never stop praying for R & J and they DO deserve a family! And I might say, they will be getting 1 amazing family! You do what you have to do keep going and if going private is what you need to do, then by all means, do it. Always here & always praying for you guys!
Awww Dawn, I'm so sorry! Keep me in the loop, kay? You have my email address, so make sure to invite me to read.
I am so shocked that some people choose to spew harsh words and I will pray for them. FaerieMama said it so well!
Even those of us who love you and have been praying for these past 6 1/2 years for Ronaldo and Julia to come home cannot even imagine what it is like to have walked in your shoes. But know that there are people out here continuing to faithfully pray for your babies to come home to their forever family.
Love you so much! I hope that what has happened on your blog does not dampen the hope and the blessings that abound during this Christmas season. And hoping the news that has come out of CNA lately is the final step to bring them home so that they will be able to celebrate next Christmas with their family.
xoxoxoxo
I'm so sorry you've had to deal with that; there are some horribly wicked people out there who can't fathom the pain they cause others...I've been following your blog for over 5 years now, since I started my first adoption...I know you don't know me, but I feel so invested in your family and with what happens with R and J....I would be honored if you let me keep following along. My email is mollyrenner11@gmail.com
I'm so shocked that someone would attack you and your kids. They must be very small-minded and angry. You do what's right for you. Please keep me in the loop, whatever you decide.
You know I love you and am praying for you and R and J. I'm honored to walk alongside you down this weary road.
All these tears are not lost on our Great Redeemer. One day, things will be made right.
Much love,
Julie
Some people are just so mean! Not cool! So sorry to hear this!
continuting to plead the blood of Jesus for those 2 to get home to mommy and daddy.
people can critisize all they want, we went through that with our disruption but they have NO IDEA. And frankly i've stopped caring what others think.
I am so sorry you have fallen victim to those who do not know, who have not been there, and are lacking the love of Jesus. I pray your heart gets stronger and that God moves huge mountains for your babes in Guatemala...May you feel the arms of Jesus around you now.
I am so sorry you are having to deal with that. I will continue praying for your family and that your two waiting will become a forever part of your family.
Dawn,
I am so sorry you feel attacked, please know that my heart aches for you & your two kiddos waiting to come home. I thought the 3 year wait in Haiti was brutal. I pray that this new glimmer of hope can sustain all of you.
If you do go private I would love to tag along & celebrate with you when R & J come home.
Hugs to you & Merry Christmas to you & yours. You are in my prayers.
I'm beyond sorry that you are having to deal with mean people. Just know that for every hateful person out there, there are tons of us that are praying for you, your family (all of them - even if they aren't all under one roof yet), and for all of the children who are stuck in a system that doesn't always work.
I would also LOVE to continue to follow you!
kimhartz@hotmail.com
Wow, I'm so sorry that people can be so cruel. It hurts my heart for you!
We have read your blog for a long time and we pray for you and R and J often at our home. There are times at night when I watch my 6 year old daughter sleeping that my mind wanders to you and your long wait for your children. My daughter Ava just asked about R and J last week. She asked me if maybe Santa could go to Guatemala and help to get them home. I explained that this probably wasn't that Santa could help with and she said "Mama, Jesus might want to use Santa to help. You just don't know." I told her keep praying for you and your entire family and she assured me that she will pray every night as she lays in bed.
I would be honored if I would be allowed to follow your blog. Ava and I want to know when R and J do come home..so we can shout our praises along with so many others who wait and pray!
Lisa
lisam00@zoominternet.net
I wish I could go find those awful people and give them an old fashioned schooling. Do they think we chose to suffer this much pain? That we are simply stupid and should move on? We gladly suffer because we LOVE our children and know that they deserve so much better. We fight for them. We cry for them. We suffer for them because they should not have to suffer. They are innocent victims of a situation none of us can control. Please allow me to be part of your private blog. I do not want to lose our connection. Your sweet children and our PBJ are the last three children I know and have hope for. Even if PBJ never comes home, I pray that you bring your babies home.
I am so sorry that you have to deal with people that have no business spewing the stuff they do. I have also followed your story since I adopted my Ginny from Guatemala 7 years ago. I continue to pray for those sweet children and them to come home to you. I would love to continue following your journey and I'll come here to see if you give any updates, if that's possible. Or if you will let me follow and be with you and your family, I would be honored.
Leslie W in GA
leslie-wms@hotmail.com
I'm so sorry you have this. I pray that God will change people's hearts! I cannot imagine going through this long and painful journey of waiting and wondering as you and the kids have done. I hope you know that you can count me in as one who is praying and is thankful for the updates.
That's the problem with being real, right? The fear of and reality of being slammed in the face. But by being real we become more like Christ, who was never fake. And, I hope, by being real, we draw most people closer to us, especially those who need to see Christ.
Not a day goes by when I pray for You, Your Family and those 2 with beautiful Big Brown Eyes!! I am finally getting a chance to read through past blogs when Brody is sleeping! I am so deeply sorry to read you have such inconsiderate people have to be so rude!! I am so thankful for every update, either a prayer request, sharing something about your life, or those sweet children. Sending HUGS and know God is continuing to hold you close, and blessing You ALL!
Love Ya!!
i've been following your blog for a long time now. we haven't met, but i feel a kinship to you in that i have two "sons of my heart" in russia that have never come home.
i would like to continue to follow your blog if you include me. respectfully, i understand if you need to limit it to people you only know in real life.
may you see God's fingerprints in your life today!!
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