Sunday, January 30, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Silence....
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13
I haven't written on here in so long. I always start and then think, "How do I put my thoughts and heart into words?".
And I stop.
So many things about my faith are changing. Growing more solid. More trusting. Learning things about my God that I had never considered.
I have so much to write, but for the first time ever I just sit here, each and every day. Carefully considering my words. Wanting with all my heart to bring glory to my Father. And so I wait.
And I pray.
Praying that when the time is right, He will guide me to speak with you about the things He has done in my heart.
I wait in silence. With a peace that certainly passes all understanding.
Knowing that God is good. Believing that He will lead me to share, but not just yet.
Until then, please continue to pray that God will hold my children. And that He will continue to guard their hearts.
(A new picture. One of many we received this past week. God bless you my dear friend Carmen.)"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
The Awkward Silence of God
I have been thinking a lot lately about prayer and whether God really answers our prayers based on anything we pray. I am consumed by doubts about what I believe lately and this article couldn't have come at a better time. I'm not sure how I feel about it just yet, but it's beautiful nonetheless.
The Awkward Silence of God by Timothy Jones
Why Pray When You Seem to be Talking to Yourself?
In every prayer, there is a touch of insanity.
You don’t believe me? Think about it for a moment: You wouldn’t ask someone who regularly converses with an invisible friend to babysit your children. Yet if that invisible friend happens to be named God and if the conversations typically end with “Amen,” you would entrust your progeny to that person without a second thought.
The apparent craziness of prayer can be summarized in a single word: silence. Many times when we pray, there’s no immediate response. The deacon mumbles a few words over the offering plates, the child prays for a pony for Christmas, the young couple screams for God to heal their baby—and nothing tangible happens, at least not right away. The offering may be used for God’s glory; a pony may show up on Christmas; the infant may survive. Yet on the surface, these answers seem to result as much from parishioners, parents, and physicians—or in some cases, sheer dumb luck—as from prayer.
So often God seems silent.
Yet over the past few years, I’ve learned something about God’s silence: When He doesn’t seem to respond to our prayers, it may not be because He’s chosen not to speak; it may be that His answer is already on the way.
NO RESPONSE
The Jews of the first century were familiar with God’s silence. For 400 years after the prophecies of Malachi, God did not speak corporately to His people. During these years of silence, followers of the Torah gathered in synagogues weekly and entreated God with the same prayer: “Speedily cause the descendant of David Your servant to flourish.” Yet they received no response.
(Read the rest of the article here)
The US and Guatemalan governments are trying to find resolution to the remaining cases. It means more waiting and more unknowns. Both kids are angry and weary. Neither believe they are coming home. I have never seen them like this and of course, I worry.
Like them, I'm hesitant to believe anyone's promises anymore. Every time we are close to being finished, someone halts the process and sets up a new one. That's where we're at. Again.
I'm not going to lie and sugarcoat anything. I am at a place where I see God doing what He wants despite our prayers. I do believe that ultimately His plan is good, but after being stunned into silence by pictures of the kids we were sent over Christmas, I have nothing left to say to Him about our case. He is working His plan and we are not able to change anything about it.
I cling to Jeremiah 29:11, believing that He is working for our good and for Ronaldo and Julia's good, even though I can't see it. I believe He cares deeply, but I can't pretend to understand.
It's a new view of God and of faith for me.
I can't change the mind of a God that is too Holy for me to comprehend.
Not bad. Not good. Just grappling with the true might and Holiness of my God, and where I stand in all this.
Invasive Grace..where God's plan comes on us and works through us, even when we don't ask for it.
The Awkward Silence of God by Timothy Jones
Why Pray When You Seem to be Talking to Yourself?
In every prayer, there is a touch of insanity.
You don’t believe me? Think about it for a moment: You wouldn’t ask someone who regularly converses with an invisible friend to babysit your children. Yet if that invisible friend happens to be named God and if the conversations typically end with “Amen,” you would entrust your progeny to that person without a second thought.
The apparent craziness of prayer can be summarized in a single word: silence. Many times when we pray, there’s no immediate response. The deacon mumbles a few words over the offering plates, the child prays for a pony for Christmas, the young couple screams for God to heal their baby—and nothing tangible happens, at least not right away. The offering may be used for God’s glory; a pony may show up on Christmas; the infant may survive. Yet on the surface, these answers seem to result as much from parishioners, parents, and physicians—or in some cases, sheer dumb luck—as from prayer.
So often God seems silent.
Yet over the past few years, I’ve learned something about God’s silence: When He doesn’t seem to respond to our prayers, it may not be because He’s chosen not to speak; it may be that His answer is already on the way.
NO RESPONSE
The Jews of the first century were familiar with God’s silence. For 400 years after the prophecies of Malachi, God did not speak corporately to His people. During these years of silence, followers of the Torah gathered in synagogues weekly and entreated God with the same prayer: “Speedily cause the descendant of David Your servant to flourish.” Yet they received no response.
(Read the rest of the article here)
The US and Guatemalan governments are trying to find resolution to the remaining cases. It means more waiting and more unknowns. Both kids are angry and weary. Neither believe they are coming home. I have never seen them like this and of course, I worry.
Like them, I'm hesitant to believe anyone's promises anymore. Every time we are close to being finished, someone halts the process and sets up a new one. That's where we're at. Again.
I'm not going to lie and sugarcoat anything. I am at a place where I see God doing what He wants despite our prayers. I do believe that ultimately His plan is good, but after being stunned into silence by pictures of the kids we were sent over Christmas, I have nothing left to say to Him about our case. He is working His plan and we are not able to change anything about it.
I cling to Jeremiah 29:11, believing that He is working for our good and for Ronaldo and Julia's good, even though I can't see it. I believe He cares deeply, but I can't pretend to understand.
It's a new view of God and of faith for me.
I can't change the mind of a God that is too Holy for me to comprehend.
Not bad. Not good. Just grappling with the true might and Holiness of my God, and where I stand in all this.
Invasive Grace..where God's plan comes on us and works through us, even when we don't ask for it.
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