Kung Fu Panda 2-Warning

Just wanted to warn those of you who have children who struggle with attachment or who have adopted children who are more sensitive, Kung Fu Panda 2 has a very strong adoption theme. It wrestles with some tough issues that woult be better addressed somewhere other than a movie theater.

Just saying. ;)

Six Years....

Six years of waiting. Of longing. Of not understanding. I miss them so badly that sometimes I think my heart will wither away.

I have been finding some comfort in the story of Jacob. How he waited seven years for Rachel, only to be given Leah. How he waited another seven. And I get it. How horrible his wait must have been. How deep his longing. How unfair it all must have felt.

I wonder too, did he question God? Did he wonder why God didn't seem to hear his prayers? Anymore I find myself quiet in the presence of God. Not begging. Not pleading. Not even praying. Just being. He is God. I am not. He will do what He wills, whether or not I understand. So I sit quietly. Nothing to say. Maybe finally at peace with understanding how little I know, really know, about my God. How incomprehensible He truly is.

My faith is solid.
My heart is not.

My heart is weeping. Broken. Trampled.

I don't understand the evil in this world. I can't comprehend it. The injustice. The children who suffer. A God who rules it all, but doesn't remove it all.

Psalm 27:3-4

Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then I will be confident.

One thing I ask from the LORD,
this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple

Forgive me if I cannot talk to you this week.

Forgive me if I randomly burst into tears.

Forgive me if I become angry or pull away when you reach out.

Forgive me if I don't answer the phone or come to the door.

I can't.

The well of pain runs too deep.

Yet, please know that I appreciate more than anything, your prayers. Because ultimately this ends with Him.

He is God.

He is God.

He is God.

Psalm 46:10a
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God"