July..

July is hard for me. Especially the end of July. It means the kids' birthdays are coming again in a month. It means they are again one year older. It means another birthday of having to try send things from here to there. And wishing things were so much different.

It also means, that even if a miracle occurs today and the process suddenly begins again, my kids still won't be home for Christmas. It's just not even possible.

Last night I just lay in bed and the tears came. Deep sobs. My arms physically ache to hold my growing kids.

The questions begin.

The begging begins.

God and me there in the stillness of the night.

There are times when the pain is so deep and so real that it overwhelms me.

July is one of those times.

This too shall pass, but in the meantime, I grieve for all that has been lost and for 6 years of pain. I struggle to find meaning to what is happening and to once again release control of something I have no control over. I fervently believe that God is involved in all this. I have to believe because not believing is even more painful and lonely.

July is hard.

Nothing....

I think of this blog most every day. Each time I see that little icon under my bookmarks, I think I should really post something because I know so many of you continue to pray for our kids.

But the truth is, there's nothing to post.

Time continues on, and our kids continue being stuck in a country that refuses to let them go.

They continue to grow up, alone and without a family. They don't understand.

And we certainly don't either.

I'm sure God has a plan in all this. But truthfully, I'm hard pressed to find the good in it. Maybe some day we will understand. Maybe that day will not be until Heaven.

So for now, please keep praying for a miracle. God certainly can move mountains should He choose to. We believe that with all our hearts. Thank-you for being faithful readers and friends. The journey has been so long and we couldn't have made it this far without you all.